Is There Purpose in Rejection?

I hopped in bed and opened Instagram. My typical nightly routine. The first post popped up and my heart immediately sunk to the bottom of my stomach.

Who is she? I asked myself.

My heart raced, I felt nauseas, I couldn't breathe. 

I thought I was over this. Why do I feel this way?  

The reality is, I am over the situation. God has been faithful to bring healing and restoration in so many ways. What I'm not over, or what I realized I do struggle with, is rejection.

It's not the success of others or the idea of someone moving on that upset me; it's the underlying lie my flesh tells me that hurts the most - the lie that I am not enough. That I wasn't chosen.

"I'm not interested." "This isn't working." "We decided to move in a different direction." "I moved on."

No matter how old we are, what we look like, or where we live, we've all experienced rejection in some way.

From getting picked last in gym class, to seeing a picture of your friends hanging out without you, to being abandoned by a spouse, and everywhere in between: rejection hurts.

Some forms of rejection are minuscule in comparison to others, but the message any form of rejection sends is always the same.

Rejection says you are not enough. And wow, that hurts. (Some studies have shown that the pain of rejection is similar to the pain of a physical injury. Isn't that crazy?)

What's the point, though? Why do we have to experience rejection? Is it just part of living in a fallen world? Is it a consequence for sin? Is it a way God protects us? Is it something God uses to draw us to Himself?

The answer to all of these questions is yes.

Rejection is a reality of the fall. Rejection can be a consequence for our sin. Rejection can be a form of God's protection of us. Rejection can lead us to draw near to God.

But what if there's more to it than that? What if God has divine purpose not only in us facing rejection, but in how we feel when we are rejected?

Hear me out, y'all. When I was laying in bed that night, alone, feeling such deep sorrow and pain that I wasn't chosen, that I wasn't enough, it hit me - could this be a tiny glimpse into how Jesus feels when we reject Him? I mean, if marriage is meant to display Christ's love for his Church, can't rejection serve a purpose in displaying Christ's heart when He is rejected?

Unlike Jesus, we have a lot of our flesh (sin) mixed in to our feelings when we are rejected, so we can't equate exactly how we feel (or why we feel a certain way) with how He feels. He is fully God - He doesn't need us. But He also came to earth fully man - and we see glimpses of His righteous emotions throughout the Gospels. 

Our motives and desires for being accepted are skewed, our emotions are not always right or righteous. But Jesus' are. Jesus doesn't desire our attention selfishly or in a self-seeking manner. He doesn't long for relationship with us out of fear of being alone. He doesn't seek our approval or crave our affirmation. He doesn't struggle with knowing His worth.

Despite this, I believe Jesus does feel deep sorrow when He is rejected - because He knows the consequence of us rejecting Him. It breaks His heart.

So, it is good that we face rejection. It is good that we hurt when we experience it.

We know that nothing is wasted; that God works all things (even rejection) together for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose.

God took my self-centered response to seeing a simple picture on Instagram and turned it into a lesson in humility, giving me a very small glimpse at the sorrow He feels when we reject Him.

And I pray He does the same for you.